2024 → 2025

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The annual review was accidentally dragged to February again, missing the time after New Year's Day. Originally hoped to write it during the Spring Festival, after all, there was a long holiday at that time. But facts proved that instead of coveting more time, it is better to act quickly. Once the idea of "can do it later" appears, it will be dragged on forever.

Since last year's review received some feedback, I also want to have good feedback when writing this year. The writing mindset mixed with some impurities, but then I thought about how last year went is a foregone conclusion. My responsibility now is to sort it out properly, take a snapshot of the 2024 me, and give it to the future me.

I want to be as true to myself as possible, have a clear conscience about my words, and follow the expectation of writing the review last year "Down-to-earth, not vanity".

A year where the spring loosened

Looking back, whether it was the first sales job, career change, or changing jobs, every time was sprinting with the spring tight, but in 2024 the spring suddenly loosened.

I still have many things I want to do —— Japanese is not good enough for work, there are still many technologies to learn, weight is still overweight, writing is too little, still far from dreams, etc. Clearly there are so many things, but I can't lift my spirits.

In 2024, I changed to the fifth company, and the fourth as a software engineer. In Reviewing my first three years as a software engineer, I mentioned that I spent three years approving myself to call myself a software engineer.

Two years later today, I finally affirmed my "ability" as a software engineer. The recent two jobs have many technologies I didn't know originally, but I picked them up quickly after joining (thanks to AI help). I also gained the trust of colleagues and supervisors. Naturally, as a reasonably reliable software engineer, the imposter from the beginning has completely disappeared.

Drew a line with family members who always asked for money, also got a raise and benefited from the boom in Taiwan stocks, financially having more margin than the year before last.

Went to Japan once in March and October respectively (Mie Prefecture Wakayama, Tokyo star-chasing trip), experienced the Japanese office, also attended many concerts, watched many great works, such as Arcane and Dandadan.

Overall, 2024 gave me a feeling of crossing the storm circle to the eye of the typhoon, suddenly calm around, and I suddenly relaxed.

Can I really rest?

Comparing with " Expectations for 2024 " written in last year's review, besides room for improvement in work, I gained more margin in finance, and indeed focused on myself in interpersonal relationships.

Being able to rest in 2024, isn't it the proof of "getting more margin"? So I don't think I need to be too harsh on myself, treat "being able to rest" as proof of growth.

My Insights This Year

Find my own passion, dive in boldly

I want to find things I want to seriously invest in and can safely throw a lot of time into.

I have made quite a few attempts, and thought I had found it, but that was just naivety, because I didn't have a deep understanding of those things.

After I started doing those things, I found I had to invest too much time. Thinking of an interpretation I saw before about "talent" is "Your talent exists in those things you can do tirelessly".

I still can't dive into things I thought were passions without scruples. I haven't thought clearly yet, so I am investing with a half-hearted attitude, and naturally got half-hearted results.

Speaking of writing, I want to write a lot of things, but sitting at the desk for three hours found that I only produced a little bit, or worked hard for a day to finish writing and publish it but found little feedback, or some topics just need time to research and cultivate, not something that can be finished in a week or two enthusiastically.

In these moments, I would think, do I really want to invest such a large amount of time? The result is always hesitating or doing other things with short-term results, and just letting time pass like this.

Not just measured by money

Besides time, I often subconsciously use "can it make money" as a basis for doing something. Last year when I saw the article Formula killed interest, I had a rude awakening. I found that when chatting with friends about things I wanted to do, the most frequently asked question was not details, but "Can that make money?". What makes me sadder is that I am often the one asking that question.

The article mentioned "As long as your interest cannot make money, it cannot make it to the hall of elegance of elders" and "As long as you spend a little time on your own interest, you will be cast envious looks of 'so luxurious' by peers, because that does not exist in most people's lives and is hard to get resonance and response from others", which also truly happened in my life. I went to concerts very often last year, and often heard "You must have spent a lot listening to so many concerts? Merchandise is expensive right". After reading this article, I consciously changed the way I interact with friends and reduced getting along with some friends who are very good at triggering money anxiety, hoping to create more interactions mentioned in the article "The speaker talks with relish, the listener also expands a little more expectation for different life appearances, that is an interaction where both parties' eyes light up".

And the loosened spring made me unexpectedly realize that I don't need to be afraid of investing time. Even if I don't invest, time will slip away unknowingly. And if I want to do A at the moment, but feel I should do B in my heart, I usually end up doing neither, inner entanglement while slacking off.

In that case, might as well dive boldly into things I want to do at the moment.

The premise of finding passion is also to be willing to invest first. I will spend more time in 2025 investing in things I think of now.

Remembering the inspiration from the interview of Satoru Noda, the author of "Golden Kamuy", after finishing the series. His answer to derivative works was "Life is short, works that can be left are few. Now I always put what I want to draw as the first priority, drawing with the mood that this might be my last work".

I hope I can dive in boldly with this attitude, and have no regrets about my choice.

Take my body seriously

Humans are just a kind of creature after all, physiological and psychological influences are very direct.

Last year after work, I often ate dinner casually (Taiwanese bento, various noodles, etc.), resulting in bloating due to excessive intake of starch or processed products. My brain was also sluggish during digestion, and ended the day in a muddle.

After trying to prepare by myself and increasing the amount of protein and vegetables, the spirit improved significantly. I didn't feel groggy after eating. Compared to satisfying momentary appetite, I want this clear state more.

Last year due to moving and changing jobs, after canceling the contract with the familiar gym, I didn't exercise as often. Sitting in front of the computer desk for a long time started to cause muscle soreness again.

Going for massage and physical therapy didn't improve much. It improved a lot after recovering some basic training. Deeply realized "Prevention is better than cure". Regular exercise can properly "prevent" the occupational hazard of engineers sitting for a long time. Not moving the body is just treating the symptoms but not the root cause.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous

Currently, many articles written are empty thoughts by myself. But without absorbing new knowledge, there will be no progress. Many things should have been thought by others earlier and deeper and more comprehensively. I want to stand on their shoulders and look forward.

For example, "Notes of Giants" has many recording mindsets and methods that are helpful to a recording maniac like me. "The Guide to Non-fiction Writing" I am reading recently also provides me with different ideas on writing.

Hope to absorb more information (not limited to reading books) in 2025. Outputting after absorbing will also be easier.

Things Completed This Year

Solo travel to Japanese countryside (Wakayama, Mie Prefecture, Kumano Kodo, Urashima Hotel)
Been to Japan many times, but most satisfied this time. Hot springs, mountain climbing, sea watching, visiting nature, World Heritage (Kumano Kodo). This is my ideal travel. Walking around like this really feels body, mind and spirit relaxing. Sincerely recommend.
First time listening to a concert in Japan
Met Airi Suzuki, participated in handover event and Live
In some fragile moments in life in previous years, it was the figure of Airi Suzuki working hard and shining that supported me. Being able to walk in front of her to talk to her or participate in the LIVE video seen countless times brought me pure touching feelings.
First time picking up at the airport (milet Asia tour Taipei stop)
Went to the scene and found many familiar faces, miles (milet fans' name). It's nice to gather together for things we like.
First tattoo
Tattooed the "Courage" and "Hope" crests from Digimon Adventure first generation. Encouraging myself that taking the first step requires "Courage", taking the next step requires "Hope".
More practical experience and understanding of WordPress, SEO, Cloudflare, AWS, Caching at work
Passed JLPT N2
Felt that certificates are like this. Even after passing the second to last Japanese test, still feel my Japanese sucks.
Worked in Japan office for two weeks
Lived for a month the year before last, experienced the feeling of commuting there last year. The imagination of living in Japan became more concrete, and found unexpectedly many friends in Japan. Temporarily not worried about having no friends in Japan XD.
Ended eight years of being single

Things Not Completed This Year

Stopped Japanese classes after June
Didn't read many books
Didn't make up CS and some knowledge I wanted to learn
Didn't maintain weight training habits
Didn't eat a balanced diet
Didn't write novels

Pain of This Year

Uncertainty about software career
Myself without fitness, writing, learning
Spent too much time on some pacifier entertainment
Terrible rental environment in Taipei
Listened to friends' stock tips twice, lost money both times. I ultimately cannot earn money beyond my cognition, let's do more homework first.

Expectations for 2025

Career

The general direction is still "Have more choices", but I hope to find my own passion.

When just entered the industry, the imagination of software engineer was "Longing for "Craftsmanship", free working mode and possibilities contained in software industry", but stumbling along found myself seemingly not smart enough and not hardworking enough. Just taking care of myself in the industry took all my strength.

Suffered from imposter syndrome in the first few years, later lost interest in my own work content, worried about Taiwan's software development. Felt no meaning in things I developed (like ERP in previous job, everyone didn't want to use it, I also did it painfully, just satisfying the boss's expectation), realized office politics often override technical development leading to inability to make good products, couldn't find products I really wanted to invest in on the market, etc.

So the mindset towards software engineer these few years has just been a means to make a living. Considerations for work are also whether it can help the next next job, is there a way to get a raise, how not to be eliminated.

But recently I was stimulated by a few friends also in the tech industry. They are very enthusiastic and have achieved results. People in past articles or interviews were far away from me, but some friends started to appear there, letting me see how doing things with passion can make people have such different appearances. I also want to move forward with that passion. I can continue to deceive myself that they have many resources I don't have (those friends are all in the US without exception), but I also know they work harder than me and have more passion than me. And I still have many things I can do. It's too early for me to lose passion now.

In addition, the timing of AI appearance is also just right for me. When I switched from frontend to full stack the year before last, ChatGPT just came out of nowhere. Thanks to this, I could quickly pick up Laravel which I had to write at that time. Changing jobs this time also benefited a lot from AI. Even now still very worried AI will replace me, but without AI I might have stopped being a software engineer earlier. Before AI replaces me, I can still go far enough through AI.

Talked a lot, specifically what I want to do in 2025 is

Become an Open Source Contributor, currently relying on friends and Source for You community help, fortunate to participate in Kafka.
Strive to broaden my software engineer career, not limiting myself to frontend.
Continue to learn from supervisors and colleagues in the current job, and also take care of non-technical aspects, such as business models and workplace interaction and sensitivity.
Slowly think about what else I can do besides writing code.

Finance: FIRE

Last year realized working to make money is redeeming one's freedom from society, financial freedom is the status of "redemption completed", thus contacted the concept of FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early).

According to FIRE setting 25 times annual expenditure as saving goal, with my current income and expenditure status, I can only save one more year of retirement money every year. Equivalent to working for one year, besides the current year, only bought back one more year. I pulled a spreadsheet, only then shocked to find that with pure savings, I would need 36 years to wait until 50 years old to retire in current state, and this is under the premise of not having children and buying a house.

Although always knew "Saving alone is really not retirement financial management", seeing the report deeply realized this cruel reality.

However, I added a variable to the table, which is monthly DCA, and assumed annual average compound interest of 10% (very optimistic), then there is a chance to save the FIRE amount at 51 years old without buying a house and having children. Although inflation, salary increase and expenditure changes have not been considered yet, after adjusting like this, I am less afraid. At least there is a direction to know how to adjust, not so powerless no matter how to plan.

2025 will track and adjust according to this table, will also find some people to ask for advice. Will publish another article to share after having more insights!

Interpersonal Relationships

Last year executed putting myself first very well. After cutting off contact with many people, I really lived better.

Sense of Distance

Some people need decluttering, but most friends just need to keep a distance.

"Ikoku Nikki" is a work about novelist Makio living with her deceased sister's child Asa. When talking about sister/mother, Makio said "Asa, you absolutely cannot understand, how angry and breathless I was when facing her, just like I cannot understand your anxiety and loneliness, because you and I are two completely different people".

I am not that extreme, but I started to agree that people cannot understand each other on many things. Mostly just check in with the overlapping fields.

Like star-chasing friends have different ideas on gender issues from me, friends in the same industry differ in ideology from me. Sometimes forcing the other party to understand and accept is very difficult and unnecessary. At this time, actually maintaining a certain distance is fine. Only really compatible friends can jump out of the overlapping fields to become best friends. Like chasing stars together at first, but later became talking about everything.

Previously just too unskilled at grasping this sense of distance, so getting closer made me want to distance more. After seeing some people after a long time (former club friends, former classmates), still found it nice to keep in touch.

2025 continue to practice maintaining appropriate distance with friends.

Entering a Relationship

I finally ended eight years of being single.

Always wanted a girlfriend before, but felt previous states were unstable or didn't meet the right person. Slowly learned to get along with myself and didn't pursue a relationship so much, then met her.

Previously would definitely want to post on social media (actually just IG), but decided not to specially publish on it after thinking for a long time. I want to introduce her to my friends face to face or through private messages, letting them feel this matter firsthand. As for some old friends who have been following me on IG, just like wrote last year about not wanting to account to others anymore, I just want friends who really care about me (and people willing to read here) to know.

Hope to become better together with her company in 2025. The first challenge we have to face is I want to work abroad and she doesn't. But when love comes, it can't be stopped. Ensured she knew my future plan when we got together, and she still supports me going to Japan for work in the future, so let's see as we go. Cherish every day together first, hope no regrets for each other no matter what in the future.

Written at the end: Take care of myself first

The idea of exerting influence is unchanged from last year, but this year felt before that, must find a way to take care of myself first.

Before thinking about exerting influence, must also put enough attention on myself, so as not to put the cart before the horse.

But no matter which side, writing is the best method thought of so far. Wrote only five articles including review in 2024. 2025 must write more than last year at least!

Thank you to everyone who saw this. Everyone stay well in 2025.

If there are any thoughts to exchange with me, welcome to contact me through any way!