How Much Advice Do I Need?

When I'm feeling lost about where my life is going, I research, read reviews, watch interviews, or reach out to people for coffee chats.

That might mean browsing social media like X and Threads, forums like Reddit, YouTube, or blogs, or getting an introduction through a friend.

But when someone offers advice, I've started asking myself: “What's their background, and does their advice fit my situation?”

We all come from different backgrounds, have different resources, and want different things. If someone's circumstances are very different from mine and I overlook that, their advice might only leave me more confused.

That's one reason I've started spending less time on social media. There's too much advice, it's all over the place, and it all gets flattened into the same feed. Anyone can jump in with an opinion, but not everyone's experience applies to me.

Someone who's lived in Japan for years and plans to stay, someone who's only here to experience life before returning to Taiwan, and someone living in Taiwan who knows Japan mainly through the internet can all stop by and weigh in. As I scroll past, though, all I see are posts and comments, without the context behind them.

Plenty of people share their success stories without giving enough of that context, too.

I've seen someone who went to Australia on a working holiday and later obtained a work visa still sharing their 2023 experience in 2026, even holding online seminars. But Australia's immigration policies have changed quite a bit in those years. Having gone to Australia myself, I don't think there's much in their approach that I can use.

I used to see what someone else had done without considering what they had going for them at the time. Then, when I did the same thing and it didn't go well, I'd start doubting myself, mistaking their success for evidence that I was falling short.

Of course, different circumstances don't mean there's nothing to learn from each other. And taking action doesn't guarantee a return, either. Most people build their skills and resources over time. I just need to remember that our situations and goals may differ, then work out which experiences I can learn from, which methods need adapting, and which conditions I can't replicate right now.

When I've asked people I really look up to for advice, they usually haven't rushed to give me an answer. They ask questions first to understand my background and goals, and only then share their thoughts. I still find that advice useful today.

But I'm also coming to realize that what I need right now is action, more than more advice.

Continuing to seek advice can become another way of avoiding things. Sometimes I already know what I need to do; I just haven't done it.

With my current job search in Japan, I'm grateful to the friends who've introduced me to other people working here. I've received plenty of useful advice through those conversations.

But I've decided to keep building my career in software development. That means taking the time to sort through what I've done, fill the gaps in my technical skills, and think about where I want to go, so I can tell a clearer story in interviews and handle the questions more smoothly. If I want to stay in Japan long term, I need to work on my Japanese, too.

Without addressing those basic issues, more advice won't do much to improve my situation.

Anyway, I'm only talking about seeking advice here. If I just want to hear about other people's lives and ideas and broaden my horizons, there's no need to overthink it!