2025 → 2026

Note: This post is translated by AI. If you find any unnatural phrasing or errors, please feel free to contact me via email or other channels. Your feedback is appreciated!

Prologue

Like this year, I dragged my annual review until the Lunar New Year. In the past, it was because of the long holidays during the New Year period which allowed me to reflect. This year in Japan, despite not having holidays, I allow myself to delay it until now.

In 2025, I stayed in three countries taking up three different types of jobs, from a software engineer, a factory assembly line worker, to an amusement facility operator at a ski resort. My life and thoughts changed enormously. By interacting with people from different countries, ethnicities, and cultures, I learned about many different ways of living and life perspectives.

My world was shattered, rebuilt, and then shattered again. It was much more exhausting to sort out the thoughts and values flying around when trying to write this review than before.

Some thoughts I worried I had written in previous posts, or they might be conflicting, or require more references to read.

There were also ideas I wanted to elaborate into separate articles, which would leave this review feeling quite empty. I originally intended to write a summary of my life in Australia and my contemplations on whether to continue as a software engineer before writing this annual review, but I'm truly running out of time.

I'm also a little scared of doing this review. I fear that the 2025 me just ran around everywhere but achieved nothing, burning a pile of savings with little growth.

But I still have to write it. I need to capture a snapshot of the 2025 me. I want to continue witnessing myself.

Realizations of the Year

1. Anxiety Fatigue, Stop Punishing Myself in Advance

I vaguely remember being an optimistic person before I entered university. Even though I overly craved validation and engaged in self-pity, I wasn't particularly pessimistic. After that, I slowly turned into a pessimistic and negative person.

Reading heaps of philosophy and sociology books in university made me feel this society has tons of problems, and I noticed my peers had so many resources, turning me into an "angry youth".

Fortunately, I didn't have the luxury to act out outrageously; I had to earn a living. Right before graduation, I coincidentally hopped onto the train of software engineering, gradually establishing a foothold.

But because I wasn't smart enough, I didn't excel in neither technical skills nor career planning, continually getting pushed forward by anxiety. I felt I was just drifting in the software industry, and it worsened after the AI wave arrived.

In addition, I'm quite worried about the future of Taiwan; plainly speaking, I'm very afraid of a cross-strait conflict.

After threads became popular in Taiwan, creating an avenue for the public to break news, I’ve seen more happenings I couldn't agree with, mostly on gender issues, alongside numerous problems in the educational field.

Of course, there were also issues concerning Original Family and Housing Justice.

My anxiety and worries about the future completely burst open. Hence, I chose to leave Taiwan temporarily in the middle of the year, which is the part I didn't mention in Temporarily Leaving Taiwan for Two Years: Heading to Australia and Japan.

These pieces of news and information are still occurring now. I still scroll past many articles inducing AI anxiety and discussing other social issues, but I realize I have changed. I'm receiving this information more peacefully; I have developed anxiety fatigue.

Much of this credit goes to the four-month short and carefree life I spent in Australia. The attitude towards life of people over there infected me. I met some Australians who lived completely in the moment. There was one guy who only came to work at the factory because he couldn't pay his rent that week, and after working for a month, he quit. Watching them live so extremely in the present made me reflect on what state I had been putting myself in, constantly living in an anxious yet-to-happen future.

I'm slowly accepting the possibility of a worsening future, but I found out that the speed things turn bad is slower than expected.

To be anxious about that "terrible" future right now means bringing it to the present to punish myself prematurely, and when that awful future finally arrives, I will still have to experience it again.

"We suffer more in imagination than in reality." — Seneca.

I don't think I've become optimistic because of this, but I choose to refuse punishing myself early. Before that terrible future actualizes, I'm not going to be preemptively anxious about it anymore.

Conversely, after the anxiety fatigue, I want to practice focusing on the beautiful parts of life—those beautiful things I don't need to be highly successful, wealthy, or own anything to enjoy. Such as the clarity of mind waking up early (shifts compel me to wake up early, which makes my mornings super clear), the tingling sensation after exercising and showering, the tranquility when hanging out with compatible friends, and the snowy mountain views right now in Kusatsu, Gunma.

2. Living is Simply Eating Well and Sleeping Soundly

As a strict core Taipei native, it was only after coming to work in the countryside of Australia and Japan that I deeply understood this.

Living in an unfamiliar and desolate environment, my biological instincts, which I had always taken for granted, became extremely apparent.

When I was driven to the accommodation of the Australian fruit and vegetable factory, looking around with only endless farmlands and grass fields, my first thought was to secure my three meals. Second, looking at the dilapidated wooden cabin and my crude bedding, I thought about ensuring I stayed warm while sleeping. Thinking about the work shift starting at 6 AM the next day, I simply wanted to sleep early to secure enough rest.

These things are so easily accessible in a city. Even if renting conditions in Taipei were atrocious, I didn't need to heavily consider such fundamental levels, dealing me quite a shock.

Caught between family-of-origin issues, impostor syndrome, and AI anxiety, during my worst state, I often visualized myself sleeping outside Taipei Main Station, and quite a few times I thought I might not endure long.

But after coming to these rural areas, I discovered my desire to survive was stronger and more natural than I thought.

So I reverted to my most primitive needs, then step by step, retrieved the other things I was accustomed to.

Coincidentally, it was also in Australia that I finally finished reading the entire manga Delicious in Dungeon (Dungeon Meshi). At a time like this, the manga's serious exploration of adventure and diet struck a massive chord with me.

"Eat a good meal every time, maintain proper physical exercises, and keep a healthy daily routine. This is the orthodox way to become an excellent adventurer." — Senshi.

Ah, staying alive is this simple. Never give up on it arbitrarily.

3. Running Away is Not Shameful

Towards my parents, towards Taiwan, I used to think leaving was cowardice. I felt a sense of guilt leaving my own country. But after really leaving, I finally found out that this has always just been an option. Searching for a place better suited to one's survival isn't something that deserves blame.

In my first two months in Australia, I still constantly held onto that sense of guilt. Even though I knew I always wanted to leave Taiwan, I had the sensation of abandoning the country that gave birth to and nurtured me.

But as I encountered more and more people living abroad—aside from familiar Japanese and Koreans, there were also people from Brazil, Argentina, Italy, and France—this became an increasingly mundane matter for me. My guilt slowly dissipated, replaced by a sense of reassurance.

I once asked a friend working in the United States, and he calmly replied, "Because Taiwan isn't suitable for me." That was quite encouraging to me as well.

Similarly, if I choose to go back in the end, it's also not something to be blamed for.

Because if I finally went back, it would mean I've also achieved one of my purposes of leaving in the first place: Unable to Feel the Good of Taiwan—to truly feel how good Taiwan is.

Happy Things of the Year

Alopecia AREATA healed by 80%! My right side hadn't grown any hair for five or six years, so I had been relying on letting the top top lengthen to cover it. I did DPCP treatment at Cathay General Hospital this time, and I sunbathed extensively in Australia, so I'm not sure which one took effect.
Received heartfelt help from lots of friends
Life in Australia I genuinely felt that the Australian sunshine cured over half of my depression.
Started snowboarding

Accomplished Things of the Year

Wrote eleven articles
Bought the first car of my life in Australia (and already sold it)
Earned incomes in TWD, AUD, and JPY
Lost eight kilograms from work

Unfinished Things of the Year

This year I also had countless unfinished matters. Whenever one wasn't done, there were feelings of regret and unwillingness. Yet while reflecting backward, I can hardly recall any specific one, or find none particularly worth documenting in the annual review. If forced to list them... they're similar to last year, such as never finishing a book, never completing some code, not learning certain things, not joining certain plans, inconsistently exercising, not perfecting my languages, etc.

But viewing them on a stretched timescale, lots of things aren't that significant. Going through several identity shifts this year, I discovered that failing some things doesn't affect my pursuit of other goals.

Just like assuming my English and Japanese should be excellent, and my work capability super strong, just so I can go overseas; however, I failed to reach this idealized strength yet I'm already in Australia and Japan.

I read Four Thousand Weeks back in 2022. The book strived to let the reader acknowledge it's impossible to finish all the tasks we desire to do. Even though I agreed, day after day, year after year, I still chased after checking off every single task, while simultaneously condemning myself well aware of the impossibility.

This year, the intensity of this condemnation weakened. Maybe I gradually accepted my own decay and self-abandonment, or maybe I truly freed myself from the madness of accomplishing everything, or perhaps both are just differently worded interpretations of the same phenomenon.

In summary, I'll leave this 2025 space empty for now. We'll see how my thoughts evolve after 2026.

Painful Things of the Year

AI
Parents
Anxiety about career path
Identity
Seeking belongingness overseas

The Top Three Best Decisions

Leaving Taiwan
Taking a hiatus from being a software engineer
(Can't think of the third)

The Most Satisfied Purchases

Laser eye surgery
One-way ticket to Australia
Samsung Z fold 7 I switched from iPhone to Samsung three years ago, and this year I upgraded from s23u to Z fold 7. Never imagined the day I'd use a foldable phone, but post-laser surgery resulting in the desire to look at a larger screen made me do it. Coincidentally, during my working holiday when my computer wasn’t always around, this unfolded large screen and multitasking abilities have been remarkably fantastic.

Expectations for 2026

Career

TL;DR, I'm preparing to return to the software engineer workplace.

The broad trajectory of 2025 regarding my Career was having more alternatives and finding passion. Despite writing "It’s too early to lose my passion," predictably, I was forcing myself. Burn-out caught me mid-year, and after laying down my Labor Environment and Software Career Bottleneck before my departure, I decided to set down my keyboard and prospect other potentials.

However, after half a year of exploring and doing odd-jobs, I found out software engineering remains the best choice I know. Additionally, my fatigue toward manual labor came faster than I expected. Moving forward, I will seek other alternatives while resuming engineering.

Regarding burnout, I think I just needed to put down everything to rest, distancing myself from Taiwan and the workplace turbulence of the recent years.

The guiding stars this year are "Identity first," "Coexisting with AI," and "Prioritize securing oneself first."

Identity First

Compared to the progression of AI, what I need now is a grounded identity. I want to score a job and a working visa in Japan while my software engineer background still holds onto bits of relevance.

Even if the future for software developers becomes increasingly grim, it’s still a skillset. For a near-30 foreigner whose Japanese isn't that pristine without other skills, it continues to be my best shot.

Coexisting with AI

This half-year resting stretch also allowed me to accept the reality that AI really alters everything. Welcoming the aid of AI to accomplish tasks, and acknowledging the forthcoming environment for software developers and white-collar workers could steeply plummet.

Originally when I graduated from college to become a developer, I was merely tailing a trend. Now that the trend is shifting towards AI, I just have to follow suit again. I must believe my accumulation throughout the years are still valid—the traces of hard work, the logical path in executing a project, empathy towards people, and awareness of the market. Anyway, I will proactively learn and utilize AI, continuing to walk this thread, tracking how far I can wander.

Prioritize Securing Oneself First

This point bogged me down for quite a long time. It’s the portion I didn't clearly spell out in The Peace of Mind I Wish to Pursue in Work. Admixing with some of My Fear of Living Well mentality.

Books like The Almanack of Naval Ravikant and Rich Dad Poor Dad, alongside numerous insights from so-called successful figures redundantly conveyed similar perspectives—see through structures and markets, avoid bartering time for money, and preach about capitals and leverages.

I can rationalistically comprehend it, yet my constant thought questions, "If everyone buys into this logic, then who wants to do the down-to-earth jobs?"

When I previously worked as a software developer, my salary was slightly above average; not up toward the very top, but much better off than many below. On one side, I passionately yearned to contend for high wages; on the flip side, I constantly worried about those out-working me yet incapacitated from grasping equivalent paychecks. Progressing toward the endgame, I firmly reckoned my job was mud but I still yielded relatively fat salaries.

Perhaps an arrow can be tossed at how capitalism mechanisms function, while another aimed at personal choices. Still, getting uncomfortably disturbed because I lived better than those working harder was persistent.

Even bereft of answers this year, I plan on keeping myself safe first. Solidifying my footing first, bolstering up strength. Those questions are up for debate but cannot mold into chains tripping me. I have to perform while simultaneously scrutinizing, and not erase the contemplations on what kind of questions I was pondering upon.

Financials

Currently standing in the phase of burning savings.

Creation

This year, I scripted eleven posts capturing life and ideas. Tracing steps back, I noted the pieces I authored veered off the spectrum of what I originally presumed my pen would write.

My two favorite articles are Written After Homelessness and My Fear of Living Well.

Although I failed to fulfill my starting target—one post each month—performing the deed of writing steadily grew organic, a sensation I quite thoroughly adore.

Much appreciation to the two writing societies I’ve enrolled in. They serve as a vitalizing shot prior to publishing, also keeping me consistent. I deem them as my earliest readers.

As of this stage, generating words mainly runs as a tool for unspooling my own mind. Ironically, I was astounded to perceive that without audiences, my momentum stalls heavily—such a paradox.

Big thanks today towards the Substack platform, holding an affectionate interest in interacting globally with individuals bearing equivalent zest for literature.

Before all that, there was Twitter. Unfortunate to say, my spark for uploading things on Twitter waned gradually. Possibly resulting from it transitioning into 'X'. Still greatly appreciative that it bridged paths leading to Yawen, Hanyuan, and Min—the ones currently orchestrating the writing societies together. Moreover, introducing engagements with two equally esteemed developer-and-blogger seniors (Huli and leafwind).

This year, aiming to at minimum sustain the momentum of one monthly article, while holding high hopes that I can aggressively log what I intend to remember. Started editing a clip per month too, wanting to try pitching philosophies with diverging mediums.

For the inquisitive eyes, free to keep tabs on IG at parker_life_path.

Interpersonal Relationships

This half-year of overseas life ingrained in me fundamentally exactly how pivotal 'Interpersonal connections' really stand.

In Australia especially, jobs around backpackers mainly rely on referrals. For a foreigner, the swiftest hack into earning local trust equates to obtaining a guarantor, otherwise, escaping the dense masses of people is severely challenging.

Trailing over to Japan, albeit not as robust relative to Australia, navigating within an unaccustomed foreigner system accelerates profusely when crossing paths with someone well-acquainted, executing experience exchanges, or those who previously slipped through the loops out right. That web composed solely out of human collaboration remains—in my hypothesis—perpetually unreplaceable by AI. Regardless of how drastically technology levels up, it’s not overriding the tie bonded between folks.

Residing with packs of backpackers during Australian days dragged out recollections encompassing my college dormitory lifecycle. Dense, frequently studded with little collisions, polishing relations meanwhile.

Gazing back at my quad of previous annual diaries:

I guess I reached the climax of satisfactory interpersonal states as of currently. Primarily surrounded by those genuinely checking on me, though possessing strings of over-consciousness about each link. Detailing a massively fatiguing catch-up marathon leaving and temporarily popping back at Taiwan, absolutely rejoiced that connection binds maintain status.

I accelerated locating which novel buds are fit for maintaining (still fell short getting finessed by an inept Japanese senior out in Kusatsu though).

Seem to harness an evermore comforting wavelength standing around acquaintances without force-pressing limits, and sidestepping aggressive self-claims.

Major credits fall arguably back onto psychotherapy—separating assignments specifically.

There’s also an intriguing remark spotting how socializing holds equivalent standards whilst operating around English/Japanese modules. Over-sensitivity beforehand framed mainly as stress, inverted into allowing speedy synchronization dropping into newly forged settings.

Anyhow, this coming year's module drills on shielding away detested ties traversing the workspace. Pre-briefed inside the foregoing The Annoying Senior section.

Last Write-Ups, The Gratitude Checklist for the Year

Living flipped radically within the year boundaries, notwithstanding backed immensely heavily by associates' help. Sheltering when roofless, dragging out the quick-sinking emotional bogs, passionately feasting with just brief-history relations, and mapping blueprints on a zero-clue scale alongside, primarily — breathing life paths alongside me.

List down bottom are special spotlights meant solely pointing—excluding an all-out count.

_Hua & _Rui
Andie
Elaine
Guan_
Diamond
Yu_
Jie
Crazy Writers Society
Twitter Meetup (Temp)
Branch Boy Analysis Summit
NCCU Seniors (especially Aji)
Jay & Justin
Lauren
Eric, Hong, Tina, Jin
Takumi & Genki
Wang Shi_
Lan__
Jilin Road Landlord
Deng*, Jia* & Exactly Right For You
The masses met prior departing Taiwan
Folks chipping feedback to my posts

Thanks to min, YA-Xuan and Hanyuan for reading the draft of the article and giving feedback.